Category Archives: Other

New Year’s Resolutions

I never have any. I wish I did, because I have tons of stuff that I want to improve about myself, or with what I do, but… Hm, I don’t know. Maybe it’s always the fear of failing, and thinking I’m a bad person for not reaching a goal. Or maybe it’s because I can never really come up with anything solid, because I don’t need to lose weight, am not smoking, don’t drink, and don’t want to give up my fast food that I occasionally eat. I’m listing those, because they are some of the most common goals for the new year. So why write about it?

Well, I’ve decided that I really want to do something about my habits of starting a project, and then either work sooo slooow that it feels like it’s just standing still, stop working on it for several months, or quit it altogether because other things start occupying my mind while taking a break. I realized that when I started thinking about how I’d love to make wooden frames for my boyfriend’s photos, and whoop! I was already looking on the net to find a place where I could eventually buy scrap wood. But seriously, I suck at working with wood, and I already have a bucket full of driftwood that I don’t use (but eventually, maybe in 2020, I will). My brain is already stuffed with work that I never get done, and yet I had the enthusiasm to want to make this new project a reality. And I still do… Fuck my brain…

My boyfriend says he’s happy that I have so many things that I want to do, because it helps me stay busy while being early retired. I understand his point, because a lot of people who retire early become bored and depressive if they have no hobby. But what if you have all the time in the world, and still too much to do? Too many hobbies? Hm, probably. Do I want to stop any of them? Hell no! I want to keep playing FFXIV! I want to keep making jewelry! I want to keep drawing (those 3 times a year it happens)! And I want to keep writing my light novel! Okay, looking at those 4 things, they seem doable. I want to stick with those 4 things as my main projects. Is FFXIV even a project…? Meh, I guess it is, to me at least.

Looking back over the past few months, what have I done with those 4 projects? Well, I do play FFXIV a whole lot, because it’s fun to be back in the game again after 1½ years, and it’s a wonderful stress relief (although my post about being a tank states otherwise). I do feel a decline in enthusiasm now though, as I mainly do daily and weekly stuff, and feel quite content when having that done. Also, I still create jewelry, but it’s also still a major blow not having a return address to open the shop with. It’s not keeping me from doing what I love though! And drawing… Well, I’m looking around for a good drawing tablet, one with an in-build monitor, because my old laptop is getting really slow and painful to work with. So yeah, I’d really like to draw some more, but need to save up for the equipment I want first. Lastly, there’s the light novel. In all honesty, I’ve not worked on it since I finished chapter 2, but I am thinking about it every day, and still come up with ideas for it, so it’s a work in progress, but in my head right now. I also started working on another novel for fun, because…

…I want to scrap some other projects! Yeah, that other light novel I’ve started is my RPG world I’ll never get to do anyway. It’s nice to escape my main story, and to work on something that’s not so big. It was a relief when I finished chapter 1 of the new story, and it gave me some fresh energy. Also, I’m not going to continue doing adoptables on DA, at least not right now. So I’ve moved my designs to Redbubble instead, where they are available as merchandise like stickers, phone cases, t-shirts, pillows, notebooks and whatnot! I will most likely also add them to my Society6 account, but it was quite exhausting getting them all ready for Redbubble, so I’ll skip that for now, sorry. (EDIT: Okay, added the ones that I could. Since the sizes are rather small, Society6 doesn’t allow prints on many items though.)

On top of scrapping projects, I also want to worry less about some other things, so I’m deleting my goals like reading all Sherlock Holmes books again, drawing all my light novel characters, and stuff like that from my to-do list. Yeah, I actually update it now and then, and didn’t just make it for fun! So my New Year’s resolutions for 2018 will be on that list, which I will continue to update. I will also add some sub-goals for when I don’t want to work on my main projects. It’s good to have small goals too, to boost your self-confidence while working towards the big ones 🙂

And while writing this, I actually just remembered, that I did have a resolution for this year! It was to waste less food, because I felt bad about how much food went into the trash. It’s been a good goal, and I do think our household is wasting a lot less food now than last year. Not saying we threw out tons of food before that, but we’ve gotten better at using leftovers, and planning ahead when cooking. We very rarely throw anything away now, and I’m proud of that!

The new to-do list can be found here already. Fingers crossed that I can keep it up!

Do you have any goals for the new year? 🙂

13 reasons why… you became your own victim Hannah

So I gave it a watch, and I don’t know whether I regret it or not. I liked the first few episodes, as it built up an interesting premise. But halfway in, I started to question it a lot, and the last episode really made me wonder what actually happened. This post is not a review, but more of a thought-dump, so expect nothing but spoilers. First off, I’d like to state, that the show is only good for some high school drama, but not for educational purposes. It might seem like it is a good thing to watch with your teenager, in order for them to learn that bullying has consequences, but it’s simply terrible at delivering that message properly.

Where to start… Well, let’s start at the beginning. Hannah killed herself, and according to her, it’s because of the bullying going on at her school, and the way she’s been treated by her fellow students. It’s relatable up until that point. After the few first episodes, I started to wonder why she killed herself because of the bullying, because the things they did to her were pretty weak, so I thought it would get worse with time. And it did get worse, but at that point, it was Hannah’s own fault.

The girl is dumb beyond reason, and while the first few things done to her were not her fault, she sure started to seek out trouble on her own darn fast. After witnessing a friend getting raped, without doing anything about it at all, she gets raped by the same person later, because she’s sitting in a tub in the guy’s home, almost naked. Who on earth would do that? And why even go to a party filled with people whom she thinks have done her wrong, and are at fault for her suicide?

The only person who never did anything to her, besides being kind, loving her, and wanting to be there for her is Clay, the main character besides already dead Hannah. And guess what she did to him in an intimate moment? She tells him to fuck off, and leave her alone, which he does. She says on her tapes, that it’s because she was projecting every bad guy onto him, but how is that fair towards the one person who is being nice to her? Why not talk to him at that point, and tell him what is wrong? And while we’re at it, let’s jump to the last episode.

So Hannah decides to give her life one last chance, but instead of taking matters into her own hand, she throws it all on the school counselor. He is now her only hope of survival in this cruel world, but does she tell him anything about what is wrong? Well, partially. She does state that she is tired of life, and that she was raped by an older student from the school, but when he gives her the option of telling him who it was, so that he can inform the police and start a case, she tells him not to. He then goes on to tell her, that the only thing she can do then, is to try and get over it, after which she snaps. She leaves his office, and stands outside to wait for him to come after her; rescue her. For fucks sake Hannah… The man just gave you the opportunity to ruin the life of the one who raped both you and your friend, and you decide to take your own life instead, and even have the nerves to blame the counselor for it?

At this point, where she talks with the counselor about what she can do now, she has absolutely nothing to lose, but so much to gain. But she decides to throw it all away, and act like she has done throughout the entire series; like a narcissistic drama queen! Instead of helping herself, her friend who got raped, and every student who gets bullied at school, she decides to run home and slit her wrists, leaving behind some recorded tapes about how all other people but her are to blame.

And let’s not begin on how docile all the grownups in this series are, because it only adds fuel to the bonfire of stupidity. I’m well aware that the series is based on a book, and that there are differences between the two, but I can only talk about what I thought of the series. There is a season 2 coming out at some point, and I might watch it for the drama about Hannah’s parents, but I sure as heck won’t take anything seriously anymore.

The same day I finished the series, I also watched the anime <harmony/>, which is partially about suicide too, but in a very different setting, and with much better reason as to why one of the characters decided to kill herself. I won’t review it here, as it was a re-watch after buying it on Blu-Ray, but I do recommend it over 13 Reasons Why, if you’re looking to get your brain melted in a good and entertaining way, instead of a bad and cringe worthy one.

Hitting the road… with my face

Well no, not that hard though! But you know those days when everything seems to be going slow, and no matter what you do, nothing seems to help? Yeah, I’m having those days right now, or maybe even weeks. I stopped Inktober about a week before being done, because it was becoming too stressful for me, and although I had ideas for the prompts, they just didn’t make it to the paper. I’m glad I entered for the first 3 weeks though, as it was a fun experience, and I got to do so much more than just drawing! I’ve learned that it doesn’t take much for me to get started on something. A little drawing will do, and the motivation comes crawling 🙂

The past 2 weeks have been a little lazy on the creative front though, as I’ve been more concerned about other stuff. Boring stuff like cleaning up the house and getting ready for Christmas. Oh, and I’ve been raiding second hand shops like an idiot! I want to make my own paper, so I bought most of the tools I need from second hand shops, and don’t need much more to get started, other than maybe paper scraps, haha! I also want a label punch, so that I can punch a label for my handmade stuff that I want to sell, of course from the homemade paper. I just really like recycling, and giving my stuff a personal touch, so I thought this was a good idea, instead of printing business cards that all look the same, and will be a waste of paper anyway. Yeah, I expect customers to throw them away, but I still want to leave my mark, and make it a personal experience for both of us.

So, why have I still not opened the shop? The thing is that I’m working on it right now, but I’m keeping the storefront closed until I’m all set and ready. And because of an annoying issue, this might still take a while. I’d really like to advertise local, as it’s possible to post flyers in well visited grocery shops, and I can see from other flyers that there is in fact interest. But when selling local, I don’t want to use my own personal home address, because people could (and will) see it as an invitation to stop by my house. It wouldn’t mean anything if I had a registered business, or if I just had an office that wasn’t part of the actual house (yeah, you can actually have that!), but since it’s a hobby, I’d not want someone from the nearby town to show up on my doorstep, as it would just result in me calling the police, and yadda yadda… But looking at what a P.O. Box costs at PostNord, I can see that it’s impossible to get one, as their prices literally scream “We only want big businesses to rent a box, so fuck off peasant!”. This forces me think of other things, which I’m currently working on too. Yeah, I’ve got a plan, but I’m not sure if the one I want to include in this plan is going to agree with it being a GOOD plan, although I’m fairly positive about it. I’ll find out one day, when everyone has time for a talk, and that part seems to be the hardest one XD

Other than that, I’m actually not doing much right now. I have yet to watch the rest of Mushishi, but I’m not in a hurry anyway. I did however, get my Bard to lvl 70 in FFXIV, and then my boyfriend had the wonderful idea of leveling my Paladin next. Ugh, I’m not a good tank, so I do dungeons as Summoner instead, leveling both at the same time, but with each their own method of gaining EXP. Tedious, but tanks need leveling too…